What Is The Force?

The Force is an invisible, imaginary thing that allows any geek, nerd, dweeb, or dork feel like they can accomplish anything.

But they can't.

Because it's imaginary.

( which is both awkward and mildly amusing )

But sometimes...

It doesn't take The Force. But it sure looks like it.

Last night, some Dude was pretty drunk at a music club, and pissed off that Band #2 was taking so long to finish. He really wanted to see Band #3.

Surprisingly, he didn't cause any trouble, other than to swear loudly during each continuing encore. Even more surprising, he somehow found a Sharpie pen.

So when Band #2 finally wraps up, Dude goes up to the Lead Guy and says,

"You guys fucking ROCK.
  Can you sign my girlfriend's tits?"

And the Dude hands Lead Guy the sharpie.

And the Dude points to some chick he doesn't know.

And the Dude walks away.

( and that's when shit got fake )

Ruby

The reaction after looking at other people's Ruby code, is a lot like the reaction after looking at other people's genitals.

Wow.

Okay.

That's interesting.

Not sure how that's, like, a thing, but okay.

I guess that works.

Wow.

Seriously?

Okay, cool. Just... whatever.

Keep that away from me.

You weird fuck.

You can do that?

That's... wow.

Gross.

Cool, but gross.

Seriously, don't come fucking near me with that.

What the fuck.

Alright, we're done here.

That's awesome, but let's never speak again.

Setting Up For Failure

Cutting all your fingernails,

  and then getting an itch.

Out of Heaven, and Into Hell, when Heaven is a Coffee Shop and Hell is a Bar

Silence only brings questions.

So we distract ourselves with drama, to fill the void.

One day, a pickle will rule this country.

A pickle.

Nobody knows what this means, on Founders Day of 2013.

But one day, this will be relevant.

( there is a truth, evident )

King Henry the Atheist

Buddhism!

Confucianism!

Hinduism!

Judiasm!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!

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